Cockroach

One night, as he finished his last beer, Joe's doorbell rang. He
answered the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug
grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, the doorbell rang, and found the same six-foot cockroach
standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The same same happened the next night. This time, he was kneed in the
groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big
bug left.
The following day, Joe went to see his doctor. He explained the events
of the preceding four nights. "What can I do?" he pleaded.
"Not much" the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."

Another wasp

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local town. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World and the sounds that they make - available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.

"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Three minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."

"I'm very sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth again, I can play you have another track."

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.

Three minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could hear another track."

Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated.

"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."

"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant, I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."

Wasp

A boy goes into a pet shop and says "I'd like to buy a wasp please." And the man in the pet shop says "A wasp? We don't sell wasps!" And the boy says "well, you've got one in the window."

Fishing

Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait.
The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait.
After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water.
After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom.
The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? "
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish.
The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back."
The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat.
The first blonde asked "What are you doing?"
The second blonde replied "Marking the spot."
"Don't be stupid" the first blonde said. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?"