The passenger tapped the taxi driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the pavement, and stopped inches from a department store window.
For a second everything went quiet in the taxi, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared me half to death!"
The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much.
The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry. Really, it's not your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."
28 February 2012
21 February 2012
Sad news
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it's worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
14 February 2012
Philosophers' Convention
There is a huge philosophers' convention at the local hotel, and all the great philosophers are there.
Pascal is one of the last ones to arrive, and at the front desk he is told that his reservation was lost, and there are no more rooms at the hotel.
"This is preposterous!" he exclaims. "Where can I spend the night, the entire town has no vacancies!"
The desk clerk tells him that he may try to find one of his philosopher friends to share a room with him.
So he knocks on the first door, and Plato opens it. Pascal explains his problem, but Plato is already sharing his room with Satre, and that's depressing enough.
So Pascal tries the next room. Descartes opens the door. He has had a long day, and is in a bit of a bad mood. Pascal asks to share the room.
Descartes replies haughtily, "Share my room?!? I think NOT!"
And instantly he disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Pascal is one of the last ones to arrive, and at the front desk he is told that his reservation was lost, and there are no more rooms at the hotel.
"This is preposterous!" he exclaims. "Where can I spend the night, the entire town has no vacancies!"
The desk clerk tells him that he may try to find one of his philosopher friends to share a room with him.
So he knocks on the first door, and Plato opens it. Pascal explains his problem, but Plato is already sharing his room with Satre, and that's depressing enough.
So Pascal tries the next room. Descartes opens the door. He has had a long day, and is in a bit of a bad mood. Pascal asks to share the room.
Descartes replies haughtily, "Share my room?!? I think NOT!"
And instantly he disappears in a cloud of smoke.
7 February 2012
The lawyer and the old man
A lawyer and a old man are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that old people are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy. So the lawyer asks if the old man would like to play a fun game. The old man is tired, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun.
"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500" he says.
This catches the old man's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The old man doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the old man's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the old man and hands him $500. The old man pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the old man up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The old man reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500" he says.
This catches the old man's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The old man doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the old man's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the old man and hands him $500. The old man pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the old man up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The old man reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
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