A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Everywhere he went, she seeming to be staring at him.
She was in front of him in the checkout line and turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's OK."
She then said, “I know it's silly, but if you'd call out ‘Good bye, Mum’ as I leave the shop, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout and as she was on her way out of the shop, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to £121.85," said the cashier.
"Why so much? I only bought five items."
The cashier replied, "Yes, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
28 May 2013
21 May 2013
The Diet
George was a little overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When George returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
George nodded..."I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."
When George returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
George nodded..."I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."
14 May 2013
Grandma
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew.
"They won't let me fart."
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew.
"They won't let me fart."
7 May 2013
Chemist
John worked behind the counter in a small chemist but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough mixture. Try as he might John could not find the cough mixture. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of laxative and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough mixture. I substituted laxative and told him to take it all at once" John explained.
"Laxative won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough."
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough mixture. Try as he might John could not find the cough mixture. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of laxative and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough mixture. I substituted laxative and told him to take it all at once" John explained.
"Laxative won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)