Not sure this one is appropriate

The doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… a new suit.’
He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit.’
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see… size 44 long.’
Joe laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’
‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit, it fitted perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’
Joe thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’
The salesman eyed Joe and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’
Joe was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?
‘Been in the business 60 years.’
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fitted perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’
Joe thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’
The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… size 36.’
Joe laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you. I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’
The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.’

Cracker jokes

Who invented fireworks?
Some bright spark

What is a vampire's favourite food?
Nectarines

What is the biggest ant?
An elephant

A new bike

It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike. So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mum told him that would be fine.
Sam went to his room and wrote ' Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.' But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.' He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version. 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.' He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.
So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter. 'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike.'

Pills

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says:

"Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers:

"Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?"

Doctor says,

"You're not drinking enough water."

Knock Knock

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger... !

Amish

An Amish boy and his father were in a shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "what is this Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son, "go and get your mother."

Pneumonia

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.
On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

Light bulb

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb really, really has to want to change.

Parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week so he did same tricks over and over.

The problem was, the captain's parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

He started shouting in the middle of the show: 'Look, it's not the same hat. Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?' The magician was furious but, as it was the captain's parrot, he could do nothing. Then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot.

They glared at each other but said nothing. Finally, after a week, the parrot said: 'OK, I give up. Where's the boat?'

Another duck

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn.
The bartender says "We have no corn, get out of here."
So the duck leaves.

The next day he comes back and asks for corn again, and the bartender says "I told you, we don't have any corn! Get out!"
So the duck leaves.

The next day he goes in again and asks for corn, and the bartender says, "For the last time, we don't have corn! If you ever come back, I'm going to nail those webbed feet of yours to the floor!"
So the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes and asks, "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender says, "No, of course not. Why would a bar have nails?"
The duck then says, "Good. Can I have some corn?

Duck

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"
"I see you're eyes are working" replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see you're ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the landlord, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him; "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call." So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says, "Hey Mr Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus" says the landlord.
"The circus?" the duck inquires.
"That's right" replies the landlord.
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals, and the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?"
"That's right!" says the landlord.
The duck looks confused. "What on earth do they want with a plasterer?"

Horse

A horse goes into a bar and sits at the bar. At this the barman looks quite bemused but goes over and asks "what'll it be?" to which the horse replies "a pint of beer please" and gives the barman £10.

The barman goes back to the bar pulls the pint and thinking the horse probably wont be that smart goes back to the horse and £1 in change, he gives the horse the pint and the £1 change to which the horse thanks him.

After a while the barman's curiosity gets the better of him and says to the horse "we don't get many horses in here" to which the horse looks up from his paper and says "At £9 a pint I'm not surprised!!"

Building site

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a building site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping.'
To the Scotsman he says, 'You're in charge of shovelling.'
And to the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of supplies.'
He then says, 'Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand.'

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, 'Why didn't you sweep any of it?'
The Italian replies, 'I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.'
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, 'And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.'
The Scotsman replies, 'Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither.'
The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, 'SUPPLIES!!!'

The wealthy widower

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old tall, blonde lady who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful good looks and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His mates at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 95.'

Factory

There’s a story about a security guard at a Russian factory. One day this guard stopped a worker who was walking out of the factory gates pushing a wheelbarrow with a suspicious looking package in it. The guard opened the package up and found it contained nothing but some sawdust and floor-sweepings.

The next day he stopped the same worker who was again pushing a wheelbarrow containing a suspicious looking package. Once more it contained nothing but some sawdust and floor-sweepings.

The same thing happened many days on the trot, until the guard finally said, "OK, I give up. I know you are up to something, but I just can’t tell what. Please, I promise not to arrest you, but put me out of my misery - tell me what you are stealing."

The worker smiled, "I’m stealing wheelbarrows."

Ham

A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her,"Why did you cut off the end of the ham"?
And she replied ,"I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mum always did it."
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"
Her grandmother replied ,"Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."

B &Q

Geoff, a newly retired employee at the local B&Q store, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10 or 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company, obviously epitomising their 'Older Person Friendly' policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a chat. "Geoff, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a great job, but your arriving a few minutes late so often is becoming quite a problem."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it. "Well good, you are a team player and I like to hear that members of our team can recognise their shortcomings and tackle them. It does however seem odd to me that you come in late so very often when I know you recently retired from the armed forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They would say, 'Good morning Admiral, would you like some coffee now, sir?'."

The millionaire

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau If she answered the next question correctly, she would win £1,000,000. If she Answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the £32,000 milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-pound question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, But instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the Condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?"

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on The spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. The woman hoped She would not have to use it because ... Her friend was, well blonde.

She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the Four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer Is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered Employing a reverse strategy and giving Chris any answer except the one that her Friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would Seem to be the logical thing to do.

On the other hand - the blonde had responded with such confidence, such Certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Chris.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two minutes later, Chris said, "That answer is . Absolutely correct!!

You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends Including the blonde who had helped her win the million pounds.

"Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on," said the blonde "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

Beans

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.

Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Good news and bad news

A doctor visits a patient lying in a hospital ward. ‘I’m sorry,’ says the doctor, ‘but I have good news and bad news.’
‘Don’t hold back,’ says the man. ‘Tell me the bad news.’
The doctor replies, ‘Your illness was worse than we thought. We had to amputate both your legs.’
The man asks,‘So what’s the good news?’
The doctor replies, ‘The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.’

Desert man

This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the Rail Road tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown, head-over-heels, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the cupboard and proceeds to batter and bash the kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes to the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man: "Why'd you ruin my good kettle?"The desert man replies: "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

Monkey

A man walks into a pub with a monkey on his shoulder. The barman says “Sorry pal, no animals.” “He doesn’t mean any harm.” says the man, “He’s just going to sit here with me, while I have a drink.” “Oh, okay then.”, says the barman, “But any trouble and you’re out.” So the man orders a beer and sits down at the bar.

Soon the monkey jumps off his shoulder and starts eating the bar snacks. “Hey!”, says the barman, “You said he was going to sit with you?” “Oh, it’s just some nuts. He’ll be good from now on.”, says the man.

Then the monkey jumps off the bar and onto the pool table. “Hey!”, says the barman, “Get out, come on you’ve had your chance.” “He won’t cause any harm,”, said the man, “Just let him watch.” Next the monkey grabs the cue ball and the barman protests again but the man says, “He’s just being inquisitive” Finally the monkey swallows the cue ball, lets out a loud squeal and runs out of the pub. The barman shouts “Okay, out, now! And you owe me for one cue ball!” “Sorry”, says the man, “He’s normally very good.” And he pays up and leaves.

A year later the same returns with his monkey. “I remember you!”, says the barman, “Out!”. “No, no”, says the man, “It’s okay, he’s better trained and he really has learned his lesson. Just one drink?” “Okay” says the barman, “but that’s it.”

The man drinks his beer and sure enough the monkey jumps down onto the bar, eats some peanuts and onto the pool table. “He’s at it again!” says the barman “I thought you said he had learned his lesson? The monkey then picks up the cue ball and shoves it up its own bottom, winces and drops the ball, to groans from around the pub.

“He has learned his lesson.”, says the man, “He tests everything for size first now.”

Doctor

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Man Utd. fan

A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Man Utd. fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: “It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”
The Arsenal fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Arsenal fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Man Utd. fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: “Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back.” But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.
The Liverpool fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness”, The Liverpool fan replies. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”
“Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave. “The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?” the Sheik asks.
“Please tie the Man Utd. fan to my back.”

Parking ticket

I went to the shops the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a policeman writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on mate, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tyres!

Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

The scientist

God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him, "God, we don't need you any more. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."

"Oh, is that so? Explain..." replies God. "Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's very interesting... show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mould the soil into the shape of a man. "No, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."

Bad day

It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

Centipede

This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede
(100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box ...........



"I heard you the first time! I'm just putting on my shoes"

Nuts

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her "Why don't you eat the peanuts?"

"We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied.

"We just love the chocolate around them."

Laundry

An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"