What did one pig say to the other pig?
Will you be my pen pal.
What do you call a dog with a bunch of daisies on its head?
A collie-flower
What did baby corn say to mummy corn?
Where's popcorn?
What is green and goes to a summer camp?
A Brussel scout
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A moo-sician
25 December 2012
18 December 2012
Cab driver
A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has a higher place.
He says to Saint Peter, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation."
Saint Peter says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?"
The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep."
Saint Peter says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed."
Saint Peter says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?"
The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep."
Saint Peter says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed."
11 December 2012
Little old man
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whisky a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whisky a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
4 December 2012
The good old days
Grandpa and Grandma were sitting in their porch rocking chairs watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?" Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and took her aged hand in his.
With a wry little smile Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?" Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?" Grandpa slowly got up from his chair and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?" Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"
With a wry little smile Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?" Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?" Grandpa slowly got up from his chair and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?" Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)